Welcome to the Loved Called Gifted podcast.
This is your place to come for musings about spirituality, identity and purpose.
I'm your host, Catherine Cowell.
[Music]

C> So for this episode I am delighted to be with Pete Lewin in his summer house with his Newfoundlands.

Would you like to introduce yourself Pete?

P> Yeah I'm Pete Lewin.

I'm the director of Pete Lewin Newfoundlands. Swimming with Newfoundland dogs in open water for mental health.

C> Yeah and we're with some of your dogs now. Do you want to just tell us a bit about who we've got?

P> Well in the summer house with us we've got Storm.
Storm's a 10 year old he's been with us from a puppy.
He's a very very sensitive dog.
We've also got Walker and Ralph in the house.
We've also got Sonar along with the Columbus spaniel and a Springer spaniel and a little Terrier.

C> Excellent.
So that is quite a lot of Newfoundlands and do you want to tell people a little bit about the Newfoundland breed?

P> Yeah, well the Newfoundland breed they are a breed that was used in Newfoundland centuries ago for helping the fishermen get the nets in.

There was known years and years ago in Newfoundland as the St.John's dog.

Story goes European settlers went over but wanted bigger dogs so they said that they were put to the Tibetan Mastiff, which obviously as you look at the Tibetan Mastiff and then look at the Newfoundlands head you can see the resemblance.

Now this is all history book stuff and not from my mouth but the dogs trait is wanting to swim and save people physically that is in the water.

C> Yeah.

P> Not all I've had dogs that don't want to swim but then again there's sheep dogs that don't want to round sheep I'm sure.

But they're a very special breed for helping people with mental health as well, and that is what we use them for. We don't use them for real rescue although we trained the fore runners of the ones I've got now for real rescue but nobody seemed particularly interested in using us.

Which is a shame because there such a capable dog in the water so we sort of moved on to the mental health things and at some point bit later we'll tell you the story of how that all came about.

C> Yeah so dogs are obviously a huge part of your life what's your first memory of being with dogs?

P> When we were kids we had a dog and her name was Judy and she was a like Manchester Terrier type thing, and she was lovely, but not really appreciating what that dog did for us as kids. And then when I moved away from home I didn't have a dog for a number of years and I quite fancied one but just hadn't got the potential of having one because: I worked, where I lived - in flats etc, and then I met Jen, my wife now. She got Irish Setters and we got together and we had the Irish Setters, and we've had Great Danes and then we tried living without a dog for a short time and coming home to an empty house just didn't seem right so we started looking at different breeds and Jen mentioned the Newfoundland dog.

Never heard of it.

Let's go and read a book on Newfoundland dogs see what they're like and as I sat reading the book tears coming down my cheeks with the heroism of the dog the breed and and and what it's capable of I just thought then yeah let's have a look see if this is what we want.

Our first dog was Gruff.

We'd rang the Kennel Club up to ask if there was any Newfoundlands breeders around our area and one popped up in Northamptonshire so we rang them up and they said well we've not even advertised them where did you get the number from we said the Kennel Club we'll come down and have a look.

Went into the house and the mother of the pups quite a small dog and I thought no this ain't what I expected I expected a bigger dog. Then they said do you want to come and see the puppies as I'm going through their pattio doors into the back garden this monster came put his paws upon me shoulders and pushed me on the floor and I thought well that's it that's what I want one of them incredible and that's how it started.

C> Yeah what difference do you think it made to your childhood having dogs?

P> I'd like to think it makes you care a little bit more about animals we had a rabbit as well it was in a cage and the dog was running free but we couldn't let the rabbit run free and when the rabbit died I didn't want another rabbit because it was in a cage. But the dog had got this freedom which gave us that freedom tech him out and stuff so I think having that bit of freedom and being with you know an animal that relies on you but actually we rely on them quite a bit.

C> Yeah you've had a really kind of sense of connection.

P> Yeah yeah yeah and I'm glad I have as well you know, yeah, I just love the animals now and you know and certainly my pets which are my working dogs as well but the pets first and foremost you know I hate seeing them in any distress.

C> Yeah yeah so we met at a day conference that was run by the University of Staffordshire looking at well-being and you came with Ralph?

P> Yeah.

C> I thought it was really interesting that everybody had been kind of sat there listening to these talks and this is a fairly sort of studious kind of place and everybody's making notes and there's a level of sort of dryness about the whole thing and then you walked in with Ralph.

It was really interesting to see how everybody sort of changed their whole being shifted as Ralph came into the room and there was a table of youngsters who had been really looking kind of like 19 year olds, a bit like "oh I've got to sit through the lecture", and they all kind of sat up and their eyes lit up and there were smiles on their faces.

I thought was really interesting the difference that that made.

P> Yeah having a big giant breed like this, and they're so nice natured Ralph's a bit rough around the edges, he's still a baby and I was a bit unsure to take him to some of these things until he'd sort of calmed down a bit, but Ralph is developing into a fantastic dog for that type of thing, and you could tell as soon as I got to the university and that the staff that came and met me was so excited to see Ralph, and then we walked into the room and, he's like a showstopper. You know and everything else what's happening it's like everybody's looking around to see Ralph or whichever dog I take. Just walking down the street with one of the dogs has the same effect so it's not just a classroom it's wherever you go.

They have the same sort of effect and it's fantastic to see you know you can be just walking along checking your dog a walk and people coming with a big smile on the face and that.

I did some filming and I went to the studios in Cardiff to do some stuff with the crime watch program. And I got an email from a lady and she says walking that dog, which was Bob who's no longer with us, you was walking with your best friend he'd got this all about him this kindness this powerful energy you know it's just amazing. And that's how these dogs grab people they have got this power this energy this sort of kindness, the loyalty to just want to be with it and they just want to please. They can be a bit funny with the dogs now and again, but they're not people are they, but they want to please people just an amazing breed.

C> So do you want to tell us about how you ended up doing the water work with people there's the swimming with dogs?

P> Yeah I started with Gruff, Tetley and Jake which our first three Newfies we had. And we used to trials and in the UK that's pretty much what you do you get a Newfoundland you join a group and you do trials which is ABCD&E and you start off A.

C> So what would A be?

P> A is just like swimming out to somebody who's on a boat and they give you a toy and then it's swimming out to the handler. And again not bringing the handler back just swimming out to them. And then a retrieve chucking out a retrieve you know three four meters and dog goes fetch it brings it back simple as that. You then build up from that to top end where the dogs are having to really think for themselves. But with that you tend to train the dogs only for that.

So we started doing that and Gruff wouldn't swim with me first of all, the reason being in 1981 I nearly drowned in the Vaal dam in South Africa. Yeah bit of a scary moment. Then they came and rescued me which, which was quite nerve-wracking. Since then I've become a swift water rescue technician for part of the job I was doing on the ambulance service, and I've also done lots and lots of stuff in the water now since. But first of all Gruff wouldn't let me swim because you know I wasn't confident.

C> That's really interesting so you still got some fear around the water?

P> Absolutely. Yeah. Jen and myself could swim out with Gruff in the middle of the pair of us, Jen would turn off Gruff would get in front of me and push me back.

C> Really interesting so he would have had no idea that you'd had that experience.

P> Even though I've got a buoyancy aid on, he still didn't think I was capable of doing it. Amazing, absolutely amazing.
That's what these dogs do they pick up on things I mean he was 10 years old before he let me swim with him. So that's a long time. For him to let me swim with him was massive massive joy for me.

C> yeah

P> So he obviously by then thought I'd gain me wings if you like to be able to get out in the water with him and be safe. But there's no fear of me drowning because he was there, and he was he wasn't going to let me ever drown again or near drown again.

C> Hmm because so you've done some water rescue and stuff in the ambulance service yeah had your experience made you want to do that?

P> No no a lot of it was due to being in the water with the dogs.

So moving on a little bit I always thought actually we were only touching the surface of what these dogs are capable of, never thinking about the mental health side of things.

I got a bit bored with the trials, so we moved away from the trials, and I started using the dogs for real rescue. Because I'm a paramedic I then got a look at it and I thought this would be a really good thing to get into.

So we started training the dogs for real rescue, and with the specialist team I work with the ambulance service we did some training with them and we developed a couple of maneuvers for getting people out the water. A C-spine mobilization maneuver. And it was brill, but it never got used, and you know we did it for a few years, and I'll travel the country showing different fire services rescue teams.
But they all kept saying well why do we need dogs we got boats? You know, and I understand that and it was never going to happen. We were more there for standing outside the shops and earning money, and because we've got the dogs people came and put pound notes in.

C> and that wasn't at all what you were after really

P> No, I wanted dogs to work.
Anyway so at that point I was going into schools as well doing water safety workshops.

We used to have a lass called Tracy she'd come and help us out. I spoke to Tracy 10 years ago and I said look yeah I'm going to start looking at doing something else with the dogs.
So we looked at 9/11 dogs that were sort of like pat dogs, and these guys were coming over and you imagine horrific things that they'd seen, and they were talking to the dogs, just the dogs and then thanking the owners for letting them talk to the dogs. Because there's no reply back it was just them venting everything that they've seen to that dog, without somebody sort of butting in or asking questions, they just needed to talk.

They're quite moving to read that.

So Tracy told me this story, this is going back 10 years, so she said, "I was due to come to help you at an event one day and she was late getting there". Well that morning she was tossing up whether to come and help me out or whether to take an overdose.
Luckily she came to us and she, she'd never really swam with the dogs before, she hadn't done a lot of work with them. But anyway she got there we got her into all the wet gear and the buoyancy aid and swam out with her. And Boris, our old dog at the time, came out to her.

And it's how she described was she felt in that time and, shed probably swam out 25 30 meters, and she said Boris swam out looking into a soul, not judging not condemning not criticizing, just coming out to rescue her, to take her back to shore.

Was this rescue physical, or was this rescue mental. You know for the mental health side of things.

Anyway she telling me this stories I'm sat around her house, and it was quite emotional to listen to her. And you think well I want to do something in the water, I don't want to just have a pat dog like the emotional support dogs at 9/11, even though they do a fantastic job. And there's emotional support dogs all over the country doing fantastic work. But I didn't want my dogs to do... I wanted something involving water.
And then when she said how that made a feel we then looked at, actually shall we do it again, with somebody else?

So we started off really really slowly just doing one or two in a year. But every time somebody came to have that swim the same thing was happening. Was seeing the dogs big smile. Getting in the wetsuits and getting them in the water, the smile got bigger and bigger, and the end result was always the same coming out sort of two foot taller with a big smile on the face.

And you think something's something here is happening.
Whatever it is I don't know.
And it just took off from there.

C> So what sort of people do you work with?

P> Well we work with military veterans, we do a lot of work with veterans. We do work with emergency service staff. We do work people with anxiety and depression. PTSD. And to be honest anybody.
If people want to come and have a fun swim, we'll take people for a fun swim.

I've done birthday swims for people, you know, and I've done one-offs where somebody's really struggling but don't want to be with anybody else, and so as long as there's two of us there, to help with the dogs, and that one person comes for a swim, quite happy doing that.

But the veterans and, and how that started was, in between the lockdowns, NHS for veterans in Leicester got in touch with me, and said would we fancy putting a swim on. We've got no money but we'd like to do it. And I said well I tell you what, we'll pay for the swim we'll put food on and stuff, sandwiches and what have you.
They then got BBC and ITV involved, the day came they've got six people swimming ITV turned up BBC turned up both news channels.
It was on there a lady from Kennel Club had seen it, wrote to the NHS military, and said would we be interested in being put forward for hero dog of the year at Cruft's.

Everything went quiet again, because we got locked down again. So nothing happened again for months, and then we started swimming again, and I got an email from the Kennel Club - would I still be interested well give me a call and we'll have a chat.
So rang the lady up and I said, nothing ventured nothing gained, let's have a go.
And then 2022 they came and filmed us at the lake doing what we do. And they put this amazing film together.
Very emotional it was just showing what we did.
And I never really understood what we did, until really I saw that, and sure how not only me getting emotional, but other people.
And then we went to the launch at the Kennel Club for the hero dogs, and there was, I think it was, six other dogs involved in it.
All had the story, each one of them dogs could have won, but when we played my video at the end they all came up and said "You've won this", they said "So emotional" and "So different" what you're doing.
It was a public vote, and we won!

And then it makes you realize actually, what you've fallen into, and what an amazing thing.
It's something I've been blessed to do.
And the amount of people that we've helped, from the military, from emergency service staff, people just coming and swimming, and this fella here - Storm - he's saved a lot of people.

C> I'm wondering what other particular stories or particular people kind of come to mind when you're thinking about differences made.

P> We got a veteran, he was in Ireland, and his mate was shot right next to him.
He came on one of the swims through the veterans thing, and he now comes and helps out quite regular. Reason being - He's tried to commit suicide a number of times because of his mate being killed next to him.
He don't need to commit suicide or even think about it because he knows he can come and have a swim with the dogs. Not all the time because obviously through the winter we don't do it but.

C> So how does he describe his experience of swimming with the dogs? What does he say about it?

P> He says it feels like you're floating weightless with them. It gives him peace. It gives him the tranquility that is after, and it takes everything away from his mind. Away from that sort of day and he goes into the water with the dogs and it just... and a lot of people have said the same thing.

Because I never ask questions when they come because I'm not a counsellor I'm a paramedic, but what they tell me is they feel weightless in the water.
And you've got your dog therapy. You've got your water therapy. You've got your environmental therapy. And everything is so peaceful, and you just...
We're just taking them away from their everyday life, their thoughts. And we're taking them away from that, just for a few hours.
But that few hours that there with us, can extend to a few more hours because, they think about it. They think about what they benefited from being with the dogs - and that's the water side of it the environmental side and the peace the quiet and the fact that we're there for them.
To sort of see how that benefits them is incredible.
And it... that then helps me.

C> Yeah you're obviously somebody's very very connected to your feelings and your emotions and I'm wondering is that always been the case?

P> Well I never thought so but a lot of people say I was.
You know I've always thought I was a bit of a mickey taker, but people from years gone by - you know when I was cycling stuff - said I was always a little bit sort of emotional if you like, but I never realized I was.
And then joining the ambulance service and working with... you get something horrible and you get on with it - because you're not allowed to sort of show your feelings.

C> That was going through my mind that actually as somebody who's got a real deep sense of empathy for people but being on the ambulance service I mean I see a lot of stuff.

P> Yeah yeah yeah I was in the building trade I was a plasterer, and had been a plasterer from Man and Boy. But I got ripped off two jobs one after the other.
We were very close to losing the house and everything.
So I then said look you know I'm gonna start looking for something else job-wise, but I was still plastering. I just had to get on with life and I was working 12 hours a day seven days a week trying get money back in the bank. Trying to survive and pay the bills etc, and then my daughter, who unfortunately is not with us anymore, she says "I found a job for you" I says "what's that?" She says "PTS it's non-emergency ambulance work", she says "you could talk rubbish all day you'd be good at that!".

I thought well again this is me nothing ventured nothing gained attitude. Well I'll try it so rang him up and said I've been self-employed since I was 16 and never went school when I should have done, is it really worth me having a go? and they said well yeah, of course it is.

Second week in June last year ambulance service as it was then driving test, you know just showing what I could do. 20 minutes out and they said yeah you're fine.
Then I had to do a medical. At the time I was running marathons and doing lots of cycling, so I passed a medical quite easily.
Then I had to go and do an English and maths exam. 15 minutes of each and then after I've had that done then I was invited in to do an interview with the with the boss.
Anyway did the English and maths exam but, I never went school when I should have done, I got a job when I was a young kid working with these plasterers so I didn't need to really do anything school-wise I'd already got a job.
Anyway so knocked on the door because it was told to go and have the interview and I said, if this counts anything out there the English and maths "they'll say goodbye and thank you". And he said well thank you for your honesty come on in it's what we're seeing here that counts.

29 years later I'm still there. And the guy who gave me the job, we go out for coffee now and again. He's retired I'm nearly retired, so we go out for coffee and that.
And and that's that I got an ambulance service.

I asked him actually a couple of years ago, I said, "What made you, what did you see in me to actually think I could be any good at what I'm doing?", and he said, "The fact that you gave me honest answers."
He says some of the answers that I were getting off of a people you think they were Superman he says, but you were dead honest. And he says I loved it that's why you got the job. And he says you now you're power me it might not be the most technical paramedic, but your skills of communication with people is second to none. He says there'd be nobody better than you with your communication.
I thought well that's nice.

C> So what's kept you there for 29 years?

P> People. Just helping, doing my bit.
I don't feel like oh I owe anybody anything, but I just I do it because I want to be there for people I suppose.

C> yeah

P> Yeah. I could have retired. I probably got bit of institutionalised being part of the 'green family' [ed: in the UK paramedics wear green uniforms] and I couldn't just walk away from it.

I still work Saturday Sundays now, and I'm 66 now and I still like going to work, and I still like doing what I do.
I work on a fast response car. I'm first on scene for a lot of jobs.

Job has changed over the years, but you know, I still enjoy it.
And I seem to have gained a lot of respect from people - you know I've done 29 years without a complaint, so somewhere along the line I'm probably doing something right.

C> It would seem so.

P> Yeah.

C> One of the things you said at the conference was that your green uniforms not bulletproof.

P> Yeah

C> Do you want to talk a bit more about that?

P> Yeah. I will get emotional now.

When you wear that green uniform you go into houses, and you're there, you're strong for people. You're their rock.
At that point in time I'm somebody's rock, and I've been that rock for all these years.
Probably eight nine years ago, may have been a bit more, there was a job in Derby where six children were in a house fire, murdered in a house fire.
I was on this specialist team, and we went down to this job, doing CPR in the street on one of the kiddies.
I rang Jen up to tell her I was gonna be late, and that was the first time I'd ever cried on a job, about a job, and that still ... still haunts me today.
Not just the kiddie we worked on, because I've worked on kiddies in the past. And you can't save everybody, I'm not a god, we have to accept the fact we can't save everybody. And we have to accept that. And that's part of what we do, and that's where this hard skin comes from
But it was the whole the whole thing. Not just doing the CPR on the kiddie. It was washing me hands afterwards, and my arms were black, and that soot had come off of that kid doing the chest compressions.
Going into a room and paramedics in there crying, times served paras crying.
The impact was massive. Six kids for no reason.
So when I talked about the uniform not being bulletproof, obviously we're there to be strong for people. But at the end of the day behind that uniform we're still human. And we still our feelings, and we still have sort of thoughts, you still woke up at night.

And that's why I said that seminar about being able to talk to people.
I wouldn't say we weren't allowed to in our day, it was probably frowned upon in our day.
You were you were there to do a job, and that's what you did, you got on with it.

And that was the first job I'd ever cried on.

C> Yeah

P> But then I started doing the emotional support with the dogs and ... yeah bit of a blubbering wreck really now.

C> Bit of a?

P> Blubbering wreck.
But is that because of what we're doing with all these people, and what we're achieving?

C> But it sounds like perhaps part of what's happening is that you're creating that environment so that other people can have space to talk to express their feelings to have that sort of emotional release, but you're with the dogs in the water too so maybe just wondering whether that's that's enabled you to sort of have have space to feel?

P> Yeah I think so yeah

C> I'm wondering whether having that becoming more able to sort of express your emotions what difference that makes to sort of your emotional quality of life?

P> I think because I do get quite emotional now around the water and stuff and people see that and they think well it's not a bad thing to let your emotions out.

C> Yeah


P> And perhaps it it does help and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not embarrassed you know.
Like at the seminar, I said then, you know there's a good chance I'm gonna well up, and I'm quite happy to do so. Because talking about what we do is quite a passionate thing of mine, and and developing something that helps so many people.

C> And you're absolutely right it does give other people permission to feel, because if you were there so well I'm your rock and I'm not gonna show any emotion, you think about like the veterans and people, there is a similarity isn't there within their work environment there are lots of situations where they wouldn't culturally be expected to be emotional either. So you almost need to be in touch with your own feelings in order to give them permission to be in touch with theirs.

P> Absolutely, yeah, doing our job and doing their job [interrupted by snore noise]

C> We have a very snorry dog.

P> We do, yeah, well adds to the flavour of it though doesn't it. Yeah.

But but also last year I lost my daughter to cancer. But I feel able to talk about that grief and let people understand that I'm know about grief myself now and I understand what these people are going through.

And I went to a cardiac arrest the other day and the lady was dead when we got there. And the family were all really - and they kept going "I'm sorry", "I'm sorry" about being in tears. And I said let me tell you now don't be sorry, I lost my daughter and my mum last year I says I know exactly what you're going through.

But I was strong enough now to be able to deal with that. There will still be triggers.

There will always be triggers.

But I sort of got it in my own head, let's get rid of 12 months of everything and then I'm gonna get back to being where I am. Because I'm better helping people when I'm right, then I am in a blubbering wreck.

I had to have time off work I've been seeing a bereavement counsellor.

I never thought I'd ever see the day I'd see a counsellor.
But I went to see this bereavement counsellor earlier on in this year, her and her team, came to see and have a swim with the dogs. A group of therapists from bereavement counsellors, there was a group of them I think there's about seven of them in all.
And this bereavement counsellor tells me every time I see her, about how swimming with the dogs made her feel, because she absolutely got a lot out of it.
That piece, the quiet, the dogs pulling you to shore.
She says I would never go into open water, but I made her feel safe she said. But when the dogs came out that made her feel ten times safer.
And you think well I'll go see you then because you've expressed to me what so many people have said, how it makes them feel, so I can talk to you and you'll understand what I feel like.
And that's what's happened.

I went to see her last week and she says you're back to normal, she says brilliant, she said do you feel stronger? And I said yeah, brilliant.
And I sort of made a plan in me own head and she says don't need to go to work you've got to want to do it.

C> yeah

P> I don't want to do it, and I want to do things again.
Whereas before I was like in a fog nothing was clicking.
I was going back to work, and I went back to work and I was trying to be Pete Lewin but I weren't. I'm back to him now but I weren't at the time.
And in fact I had a crew back me up last weekend, and they said "oh you're back then" and I said yeah, they said "we were really worried about you, you know a few months ago" and she said "I actually rang up one of the lasses that included the only lady I knew, and said keep an eye on him because I don't think he's right".

C> yeah

P> I thought different.

C> yeah

P> And I found it really difficult going back to work, and the managers talking about staff having respect for him showing that they really cared for me. And I found that really really difficult.

C> So you found it difficult to let them be there for you?

P> Yeah yeah it's the wrong way around.

C> Maybe we're all meant to be there for one another.

P> Yeah there is that, yeah yes.

C> Perhaps we're all walking each other home.

P> yeah yeah and somebody said people that help people like myself, that set up stuff to help people, it's funny how we all sort of know and get to know each other through different sort of ways. Said it's like we're a tribe and we should all be together.
And I thought well that's a nice way of looking at it. A tribe of people that help others.

C> I think you're not alone, well we all know that you're not at all alone, in being very free with the giving and finding the receiving tricky.

P> Yeah I've never been one for that.

You know it's like when my friend said and her sister who came for the swim and said "Pete doesn't understand what he's got here does he"

Is that because I didn't really want to understand it?

C> Yeah I think there might be something in that

P> Because I'm just doing it, because I'm doing it, I didn't really want to get too involved I suppose.
But further down the line, I do understand what I'm giving.
And it's not just being in the water, as well it's it's it's here in this summer house now.
I've had two people:
Well the first guy he rang me up "can I come and see the dogs" - yeah course you can. I find out a few weeks later, that afternoon he had made a plan to go and jump in front of a train.

C> Oh gosh, but he came and saw your dogs instead.

P> Yeah. We sat out the back for about four hours chatting.
Storm who's here snoring, just sat there with it head on his lap.
The guy says I feel nothing for nobody. I don't feel for me family. I'm in a black hole and I'm just gonna die. He went away from here thinking of his family.

We actually got him to come and stay with us for about six weeks, so we kept an eye on him, and now he went to America to see my mate the retired firefighter. And one of the counsellors that used to look after the 9/11 medics and firefighters looked after him for a couple of weeks and got him on a straight and narrow.

And then a few months ago I had another guy ring me up said "can I come and see you". In here told me his story. And now he's still around.

So yeah little haven this is.

C> It really is it really is.

P> Yeah so people come and see the dogs, don't have to particularly have them sat with them all the time, but well as you can see Walkers out there and Storms here, but they're still around.

C> Yeah yeah.

P> I'm very very proud of what we've done.

I want to help groups of people, because each person in that group gets something from that other person. And it's all run by humour.

And the veterans thing that we do, you know, and this ambulance service, we've all got this sort of strange dark sense of humour. But we all get on.

C> yeah

P> And it works and. And I say to them "Please don't be ashamed if you cry, or if something puts you to tears because we're all here together".

C> Yeah

P> It's a lovely thing to see.
And I'm so so proud of it being given to me, somehow.

C> Yes. yeah. It does have a "It was meant to be" feel about it.

P> And again when I joined the ambulance service it was like, I should have been there all the time.

Things seem to fall into place for a reason.

C> It's interesting that the two biggest things in your life have come when something else has not worked. So you know you needed to move out of the plastering or you had the sense that it would be sensible to get something a bit more kind of steady.

P> Yeah

C> And you ended up in something that obviously really really suited you, that you had a real affinity for.
And then it was the trying to get the dogs to do the real rescue, that didn't work out. But this is so so valuable.

P> Yeah

C> And obviously really right for you. You get a huge amount from it.

P> Oh masses yeah yeah.

But the daughter that passed away I mean she was so so proud of what we did.

She had said "I just don't understand what people get out of swimming with the dogs" and then August 23 we had a charity swim for her. It turned out to be her last time out of hospital
A lot of the mates came for this charity swim and she got a mobility scooter and she was down at the bottom and having a great day, she'd even got her kit on underneath to get in the water she felt strong enough but unfortunately she didn't.
Anyway I got out the water and I said to her says he had a good day she says "yeah" and she said "just to let you know, I get it".

C> Yeah. When did she die?

P> 23, three weeks later, difficult.
It were tough year.

But knowing full well that she said "you'd be good at that job because you can talk rubbish all day"
And I know what she'd be saying - she be saying "get on with it".
And that's what I've done.

It's difficult sometimes talk about it in this situation, but I've got back into green.

If I can go to patients now and be their rock, might get to the car and have a tear or two after, but as long as I can be their rock now and not well up in front of them then I'm happy. And perhaps Paulas power of persuasion is helping me there.

C> Yeah. It's being kind of in a position where you can be the rock when you're with people and but then also having the outlet.

P> Yeah and I do do that

C> yeah

P> Whatever people think, I mean I don't particularly watch it, but it was on last night Jen watches it, and Barry McGuigan on that celebrity get me out of here thing, he was saying about him losing his his daughter.
Few tears then.

C> Yeah

P> Yeah, because you know what he's going through. And that's ten years ago and he's still like it.

But there's gonna be triggers that will always be there. For us always.

So we're getting a blossoming cherry tree it's going in the corner on the lawn here. And we're gonna get family and friends around we're going to plant the tree for her.

C> Beautiful

P> Yeah.

But I've learned a lot since losing her.

So we do still did the swims, but not as many and I feel like I've let a lot of people down by not getting back in touch with people and stuff and what have you.

Because we did a piece on the telly "Super Dogs with Extraordinary Jobs" and there's so many people reaching out but I just couldn't reach back to them because I was not in a great place.

C> No.

P> You know I've reached out to one or two. We help one or two. But I couldn't do them all.

Because some of the messages that we get in emails asking for help - I just couldn't deal with it.

C> No, absolutely. You need that time, that you talked about, that time of sort of being in a fog, where you're, well you're grieving and you need the space.

P> Yeah I've had so many people saying they'd like to help.

So I've got groups around the country want to do it, and and take on.
So the next couple years I'm going to start sort of pushing it out to people. It's a legacy.

C> Absolutely.

P> And why shouldn't other groups do it.
Now I'll show them what we do, and and it would be nice if they carried on doing it the way I did it. But in time they'll find their own ways hopefully, and...

C> They might discover things, and you might learn from them too.

P> Absolutely. So people want to do it I'm gonna start pushing it to them.
Because it would be such a shame, in fact one of the ladies who's in charge of the Newfoundlands club, she asked me across this year - what's gonna happen if you retire from it all?
I said I don't know, I said it might die with me.
She's no, she says no it can't, she says it's too important. You know you're very special and you've not just done it for you and people, but you've done it for the breed you know. And the breed has got so well known because of you and what you do because groups all over the country when I see people from the group say oh we've had people come in and asking if these are the dogs that are on the telly doing the mental health stuff.

C> Oh wow. It is interesting, because you you described reading about them all those years ago and finding that very emotional. You obviously had a real kind of connection with with the Newfoundland as a breed, and that's been really really special, and look where it is now.

P> Yeah. You know I don't have the best groom dogs in the world, but they're probably some of the happiest dogs around.

C> Ahh, they're gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.
Now I have a large person sat next to me.

P> This is Ralph.

C> Hello Ralph.

P> He's the youngster.

C> Yeah he's beautiful.
Thank you so much Pete for sharing.
Ralph is now investigating the microphone, the recorder.
Yeah thank you very much for sharing your story, and your passion - I shall turn the recorder off but thank you ever so much for your time, that's been brilliant.

P> Thank you.

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Hope you enjoyed this episode of the loved called gifted podcast if you'd like to get in touch you can email loved called gifted at gmail.com you can find a transcript of this podcast at loved called gifted.com and that's also the place to go if you're interested in the loved called gifted course or if you'd like to find out about spiritual directional coaching thank you for listening[music fades out]